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We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" on purpose.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Don't cut your hair. EVER! Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes & tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Please
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first four months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining about it to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. And, we have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine with us. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape. Thank you for reading this; yes, I know, I will have to sleep on the couch again tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's kind of like camping.
 

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Some of those hit VERY close to home.

I disagree with the check oil one though. It's fun for me to check fluids and tire pressures and such. If I do it once every couple of weeks, I don't have to worry about her on the road.
 

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Quitting is for Quitters!
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MetallicCarrot said:
Some of those hit VERY close to home.

I disagree with the check oil one though. It's fun for me to check fluids and tire pressures and such. If I do it once every couple of weeks, I don't have to worry about her on the road.
I don't disagree with the check the oil one. I prepped my bike for the track this weekend ALL BY MY SELF. my hubby kept trying to help me and i kept saying " i wanna do it"!!! Yes he had to help me with the oil change becuase i wasn't strong enough to get the bolts loosened but i got my hands all full of oil. after that i took the bike and scrubbed the chain and got all the gunk off the bottom of the bike and taped up all the lights. SO BOOOOO to those rules!!!! I don't act that damn way anyway. :taz: :cursing:
 

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LittleNinja said:
I don't disagree with the check the oil one. I prepped my bike for the track this weekend ALL BY MY SELF. my hubby kept trying to help me and i kept saying " i wanna do it"!!! Yes he had to help me with the oil change becuase i wasn't strong enough to get the bolts loosened but i got my hands all full of oil. after that i took the bike and scrubbed the chain and got all the gunk off the bottom of the bike and taped up all the lights. SO BOOOOO to those rules!!!! I don't act that damn way anyway. :taz: :cursing:
I know the feeling...I have track prepped my bike all by my little self, it actually feels good like I accomplish something. Try gloves next time if you already didn't..I used to not wear them but then started to recently within the last few months :)
 

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MetallicCarrot said:
Don't you think you're the exception? :sweatdrop:
No i don't think i'm the exception. I'm SURE there are many other girls out there that can do what i did and then some. :thumbup1:
 

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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine with us. Really.
It's so true! I hate waiting for half an hour to go to a place where no one cares what she's wearing anyway. Oh, and while we're on the topic, why is makeup necessary for grocery shopping?
 

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turn_1 said:
Yeah sportys nickname is beast! Watch it this is her bitchy season!

You mean the season is now year around?!?:scared:
 

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turn_1 said:
Yeah sportys nickname is beast! Watch it this is her bitchy season!
Alright, I was just itching to find someone's ass to kick and since you're the one that called me "beast", well it's your lucky day!

Meet me out back at 3pm today by the swings and bring your lunch money too.
 

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Sporty....... I....I dont know what to say.....I guess I have never paid for a womans services before.....really, lunch money....thats all it takes?
 

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:lol: Lest you forgot who was second place in last years master bike tourney??? I beleive it was a 10R kawi in first and ahhh, oh yeah, my bike in second place over a lot of bikes including one that you are buying....hmmmm. I believe this calls for a PIPE DOWN!
 

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I'll be the guy on the black 10R officiating and selling tickets to this exclusive engagement. Everyone is reminded to save their lunch money for this extra caricular(sp?) event. BYOM (Bring Your Own Milk)
 

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"PIPE DOWN"? Wtf is that?

Pssssssssssshhhhhhh, bring it on you damn Kawi posers!
I'll take the both of you on with my pocketbike going backwards and blindfolded!
 
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