[SportyChick]

So to make the day go by faster, a number of us have a email thread here at work on Chuck Norris facts. Some of them are damn funny and every so often I can hear one of the guys a few rows over from me burst out laughing! Check out some of these facts........

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

 

[SportyChick]

This is my favourite one so far.....

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

 

[midwest]

My favorites by far:

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

 

[SportyChick]

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.

 

[ragdoll]

Chuck Norris bowls overhand.

 

[NewRedRider]

I was watching an interview on Hannity & Colmes a few days ago with him. He quoted my favorite.

"When the boogie man goes to bed he checks his closet for Chuck Norris"

 

[jetblast10]

i'll be the first to admit it, i have no idea where all this Chuck Norris stuff came from or why, but it's funny stuff.

 

[NewRedRider]

From what Chuck was saying during the interview some college kids came up with it and it just grew and grew. Go figure.

 

[SportyChick]

Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.

 

[natecoop]

ROFL!!! i took a list of the "facts" from the website into class with me today - i was reading them aloud to the class and they were all in tears from laughing so hard. now we're looking to get a chuck norris action figure for our class mascot (another class has a huge rocky balboa figure).

 

[eazy e]

why is chuck so popular all of a sudden?

 

[eazy e]

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.

no no, that's the original John Wayne toilet paper...

Rough......tough.....and don't take crap off of nobody!

 

[SportyChick]

why is chuck so popular all of a sudden?

No idea but it's frickin' funny!
I guess they interviewed Chuck Norris about this and he said he didn't mind all these "facts", thought they were funny himself!

 

[ragdoll]

Link

 

[ratdog]

Chuck is popular for the same reason i can find 80's music on the radio...it's all in the timing, at least until the last of the baby boomers (born 1964) goes bye-bye (2064??)

that said, it's kind of cool that popular subconscious elevates a psuedo mythological character beyond the heights of Mt Olympus itself. our own superman capable of creating a laugh or 'chuck'le almost anywhere in the world and at the speed of light no less. Andy Warhol be damned, Chuck will have Centuries of Ethereal Greatness!!

 

[Bigdaa]

Nice job on the link, rag?????????

 

[marylandmike]

Some good outtakes of Chuck and Mike Huckabee, shows he doesnt take himself too serious

[youtube]NgDGlf_CDtc[/youtube]

 

[ricko2]

Chuck Norris doesn't need a watch, He DECIDES what time it is.

 

[Lemonhead]

If you make a left turn in front of Chuck Norris while in your cage, your brakes lock up.

 

[HondaStreetfigh]

why is chuck so popular all of a sudden?

WHAT?! And you're military?!

Chuck Norris jokes are written in every commode/porta potty from here to China. Especially overseas. The Marines actually televised them making him an Honorary Marine when he went over for a USO tour (even though he actually served in the Air Force for a few years).

My absolute favorite that I read in a porta-potty in Iraq was:

"Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month, and they bleed for a week."