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5,539 Posts
My favorites by far:

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

· Registered
858 Posts
I was watching an interview on Hannity & Colmes a few days ago with him. He quoted my favorite.

"When the boogie man goes to bed he checks his closet for Chuck Norris"

· Registered
48 Posts
ROFL!!! i took a list of the "facts" from the website into class with me today - i was reading them aloud to the class and they were all in tears from laughing so hard. now we're looking to get a chuck norris action figure for our class mascot (another class has a huge rocky balboa figure).

· Heavy Metal
4,304 Posts
Chuck is popular for the same reason i can find 80's music on the's all in the timing, at least until the last of the baby boomers (born 1964) goes bye-bye (2064??)

that said, it's kind of cool that popular subconscious elevates a psuedo mythological character beyond the heights of Mt Olympus itself. our own superman capable of creating a laugh or 'chuck'le almost anywhere in the world and at the speed of light no less. Andy Warhol be damned, Chuck will have Centuries of Ethereal Greatness!!
1,394 Posts
why is chuck so popular all of a sudden?
WHAT?! And you're military?!

Chuck Norris jokes are written in every commode/porta potty from here to China. Especially overseas. The Marines actually televised them making him an Honorary Marine when he went over for a USO tour (even though he actually served in the Air Force for a few years).

My absolute favorite that I read in a porta-potty in Iraq was:

"Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month, and they bleed for a week."
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