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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
:taz: :cursing: LOL LOL this is great!! Friend sent this to me....



When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"

Suddenly a maniac voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**in number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "asshole calling" would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from Verizon. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.

"Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five." "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his
number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.

"Hello."

"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Asshole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow
house, with my black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had
better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2. "Hello?" he said.

"Hello, asshole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming
over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying
that I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down
in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got
there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really works.
 

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That might be the greatest revenge ever. I guess I should reconsider feeding people their parents chopped up in chili. con carne indeed
 

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Nice revenge.

The best or worse revenge action I can remember was back in college when a friend refilled a pitcher of beer of an a-hole from "his personal tap". Some idiot was getting all "tough guy" and "beer muscles" to impress his skank of a girlfriend. So, instead of getting into a fight. He just waited till they went to the bathroom. Grabbed the pitcher, turned around behind a few of us and proceeded to refill it. Yes, they drank the whole pitcher!
 

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Another good revenge I learned from my bartending days is Visine. A nice healthy squirt in some a-holes drink and the fun begins.
 

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My best revenge in college is as follows..

A real frat type grade A butsplice and I did not see eye to eye on anything..he made it a point to razzle me to no end until.....

Gota lil frisky on the bottle one night and made a rocket with a C6-A engine.
Looked up the hall...no one. I launched that puppy right down the hallway, it hit the end of the hall, went around the far corner. It then bounced off the wall of the dorm and as my "friend" was coming out of his room nailed him right in the forehead!.....Lol'in with the lights low lol! All I heard was the 4 letter words for a good 5 min....

I had my first class of the day with him....he walk into class with a big red knot on his forhead..
I had to say.....Whats that on your forehead "Rocketman"?

Being a Frat type he never figured it out.
 

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Not really a revenge story, but I lived next to a couple of Pikes when I was in college. If you guys aren't familiar with the reputation these frat morons have, well...let's just say date-rape isn't a crime to them.

One of them came into my room once to ask me a question about his computer, as he left he turned and walked face first into the wall six inches from his head. As soon as he was out of earshot, I laughed until I fell out of my chair.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Bock919 said:
Not really a revenge story, but I lived next to a couple of Pikes when I was in college. If you guys aren't familiar with the reputation these frat morons have, well...let's just say date-rape isn't a crime to them.

One of them came into my room once to ask me a question about his computer, as he left he turned and walked face first into the wall six inches from his head. As soon as he was out of earshot, I laughed until I fell out of my chair.

uggh they were horrible at our campus too:sneaky2: they all thought they were God's gift to women...what eva!!:glare:
 

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RSixxy said:
uggh they were horrible at our campus too:sneaky2: they all thought they were God's gift to women...what eva!!:glare:
And your point is?:w00t:

In my best "Triumph the Dog" voice. "I kid!"
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
RC51_CBRXX said:
And your point is?:w00t:

In my best "Triumph the Dog" voice. "I kid!"
My point is..is that they aren't gifts! Conceit is never a nice trait among a man or woman. :no: Being humble is much more attractive :punk:
 
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