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1. We aren't mind readers!

2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends
jealous.

3. When you sleep over never boss me around in bed unless it is during sex.

4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.

5. It never hurts to work out.

6. If you don't want to hear the truth, don't ask the question.

7. "Fine" or "whatever" is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.

8. If you want sex, just ask. (In case you didn't already know.)

9. Don't expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies.
(It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).

10. Only models are able to wear most of the stuff you see in fashion
magazines.

11. No guy will complain if he comes home and sees you in one of the
following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, or just plain naked.

12. You don't need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and
a tank top are fine by us.

13. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.

14. Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.

15. We are all kinky and willing to try anything that you may enjoy, just
let us know.

16. Every so often no matter whether it is true or not remind us that we
have the biggest penis you've ever dealt with.

17. If were not getting love we'll start looking...(haha...just
kidding...psych...I'm dead serious)

18. The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.

19. Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.

20. If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won't consider it
cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.

21. Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a
quarter inch missing.

22. You shouldn't be flattered or grossed out if we get an erection when
dancing with you. All we need is Friction.

23. Porn...hmmm...Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be
wrong to ask us to stop.

24. We masturbate, usually more when we are in a relationship, can't explain
it but it is just a fact.

25. Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn't your parents teach you not
to quit.

26. Giving head is never a bad idea.

27. We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so shower
with us.

28. There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) You on top of us. (2)
Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.

29. We don't mind going to gay movies with you but don't tell our friends.

30. You can't hold it against us if we cry after sports movies or "Old
yeller."

31. "The game is on" is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious
conversation.

32. Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury
but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.

33. You're probably not as funny as you think.

34. Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one more girl say "he's
so hot" he may have to die.

35. Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced by a
Maxim article)

36. Cooking makes a girl that much more attractive especially if she can use
a grill.

37. You can't get mad if we refuse to hook up your "ugly friend" with one of
our friends.

38. For every fart that slips out when you are around we successfully hold
in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.

39. If we want to take naked pictures of you it is because we are proud and
want to show you off to our friends.

40. The red light means the video camera is off.

41. A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether you want to do
it with the lights on or off.

42. Whip cream and chocolate syrup are not just condiments for ice cream
also Altoids just don't make your breath fresher.

43. Nothing you will ever do will entitle you to operate the remote control.
(Unless operating means handing it to us.)

44. The only thing left to be said after sex is "goodnight."

45. Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only
encourage us to play more often.

46. Critiquing our driving is only second to critiquing our love making.

47. Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer questions we could be
castrated.

48. If you ask us to go shopping you have to at least entertain the idea of
having sex in a changing room.

49. The jeans don't make your ass look fat. Your fat ass makes your ass look
fat.

50. 99.5% of the time we didn't mean to hurt you.
 

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Official thread derailer
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11,015 Posts
51. And yes, my farts are funny and meant to be laughed at!
 

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3,432 Posts
Number 7 is near and dear to my heart, along with "Nothing!" as a response to "What's wrong?"
 

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Premium Member
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10,498 Posts
I remember the days of No. 35. It's always the way, for the first say 3-months!

No. 52: It's hilarious when we fart, cute when she talks about farting, but not when she actually does.

No. 12 is even better when she wears old sweats cut "Dasiy Duke" style with the top rolled over and one of my old "wife beaters" and she's happy to see me or just cold!!:D
 

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That's nacho cheese!
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17,707 Posts
montrealmax said:
So are yours!:D

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I knew something was gonna be said about your avatar Rsixxy.
Most of the lecherous monkeys around here have probably been working for weeks on how to blow up and add resolution to your avatar.
 

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Left Hand Suzuki Method
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844 Posts
Yeah but its the guys that sneak in and say "watch out" who are the real stalkers. Bigdaa using reverse psych!
 

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465 Posts
Bigdaa said:
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I knew something was gonna be said about your avatar Rsixxy.
Most of the lecherous monkeys around here have probably been working for weeks on how to blow up and add resolution to your avatar.
haha..too funny! It's too hard to blow up. Damn it's not like I am in some bikini or something..I am in a wife beater on a stop while riding...nothing special :confused:
 

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Official thread derailer
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And quite the wife beater it is!:D
 

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Stare into me...
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1,926 Posts
RSixxy said:
haha..too funny! It's too hard to blow up. Damn it's not like I am in some bikini or something..I am in a wife beater on a stop while riding...nothing special :confused:
It's what's underneath that's special.
 

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Love Machine
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366 Posts
Could we have a bigger picture to see your heart...lol....Just kidding, but seriously, could we.....I'll stop now...
 

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awarble said:
Could we have a bigger picture to see your heart...lol....Just kidding, but seriously, could we.....I'll stop now...

ok...here ya go!!




























































ready???:D




































 
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