"Department of Homeland Security. How may I direct your call?"
"I'd like to speak to a field rep from Customs, please."
"One moment, sir."
"why are they playing the theme from Mission Impossible as the HOLD music?"
"Yes. Hello. My name is brevity. There's a ghei Latino who hates mailmen, and I think he might be concealing contraband in his cornhole. Can he be thoroughly checked when his return flight lands?"
"The list is an absolute good. The list is life."
"What kind'a tires you runnin'?"