The Easter weekend ride.... - Wrist Twisters
 
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post #1 of 37 Old 04-09-2007, 06:11 PM Thread Starter
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The Easter weekend ride....

It was supposed to be a nice little ride to relax and get away from home and work.

It was supposed to be simple and fun.

It was supposed to be a no brainer.

It was not what I expected....

************
April 5th - I left Virginia Beach for Raleigh to see my girl friend. Traffic was light and I made great time. I arrive at her condo early and she is at the gym. So I swing by there and chat with her while she finishes her work out. We walk to her condo and shower and then head to dinner. It is a nice visit until
1) She realizes I am going to Tampa alone in the morning. She had thought Ridge was going with me and was fine with that. As soon as she knew I was going alone, she got worried.
2) I told her I was leaving by 7am. She wanted me to visit longer, but I explained the length of the trip and that I did not want to ride tired.

April 6th - I wake up at 6am (much to the dismay of my girlfriend) shower and leave. Walk out to my bike that was covered in ICE! This should have been a sign, but I missed it. I fire up the bike and wipe off the gas tank and seat. Little did I know my deoderant, toothbrush, razor etc... are still in my girl friends condo. I head out to I-40. Holy Crap it is cold. In 20 minutes, my face is burning! Pins and needles!!!! This is not what I planned on! It is April for crying out loud. I put my glove on my face to try and offer warmth, but the gloves feel like sand paper! - I start looking for somewhere to get breakfast and get out of the cold, but I think better of it and continue on. (fast forward through two states) - First, Second and Third back up are all in GA. About mile marker 45, traffic stops for no reason. I get off the bike and open my Givi box, swith gloves and remount. Waiting for traffic to move. couple miles further, another back up. No reason I can see. Just back ups.

Enter Florida... I decide against my better judgement and follow mapquest directions of I-10 to 301 south, to 24 through Gaineville. What a POS town that is. More people worried about you knowing they are Florida fans than driving. Not a safe town, will never visit again. I could dedicate a thread to the mid twenty, 1995 camaro driving receeding hair line rayban wearing, wannabe pimp that almost ran me off the road was trying to impress some 16 year old in the McDonald's parking lot, but I have better stories to tell. Short version, Gainsville is a poser town and sucks.

I continue on. I get to I-75 and see some vehicles I had pass on I-10. I now believe mapquest directions suck. I am cruising about 95 mph down I-75 to make up time. Traffic is cooperating. I get about 30 miles nort of Tampa and i feel a vibration in the front end of the tiger. I slow down and it goes away. So I continue on around 70 mph. I get to exit 250 and head to Jetblasts house. Tired and, well - just tired. I arrive and wait for our fearless leader to get home. I sit next to the bike and see some oil, but decide to lay down in the driveway. A nap would have rocked, but the little fat kid accross the street sceeming "Cheater" at the top of his longs toward another kid kept me from relaxing much.

Minutes later Kevin arrives. I say hello to him and the misses. We walk inside and I relax a bit.

Off to dinner....
*********

I am tired of typing. Kevin can taek over from here...

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Ride In Peace Marcus Randolph (Kahuna) 12/17/06
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post #2 of 37 Old 04-09-2007, 06:50 PM
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come on man that's just cruel!! Tell us more!!!

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post #3 of 37 Old 04-09-2007, 06:58 PM
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That sounds like an open invitation to expand on this story.
Bwaahahaha!

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post #4 of 37 Old 04-10-2007, 07:07 AM
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Maybe I should have launched the steak.

"Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room." - President Merkin Muffley
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post #5 of 37 Old 04-11-2007, 02:47 PM Thread Starter
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So Kevin is being slack... Continuation...

April 7th Kevin is stirring in the kitchen about 6am. I hear the coffee starting so I am quickly out of bed looking for perculated heaven. We eat an egg and ham breakfast and discuss the days plan. We decide to stay mostly local. Kevin suggests a dealership tour of the Tampa/St Pete area. I agree.

We gear up and head out around 9am. First destination Jomoco... <Kevin? >

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post #6 of 37 Old 04-11-2007, 02:59 PM
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slowly we approach.
inch by inch.

enter the track on large oversized 500lb no business in the dirt adv bikes. turn 10, weeee. through the gate into the right and face down the palm tree, ripping at 4mph.

it's a little soft and powdery here today.

make the left and I discovery a gravity vortex. a spot where gravity is many times more powerful than normal. it tugs, it pulls, it strains to rub the cold harsh earth against my polished bike.

NO! NOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It can't be! I'm being drawn down on my beautiful precious ugly bike.

All goes black.

As I lay there, on my side, a jillion things pass through my head. The recurring thought is damn my knee hurts and this bike isn't cheap to fix. The engine is running still, the tire is spinning. But this mess isn't going anywhere and I'm pinned under 500lbs of Germany's finest two wheeler.

Mike was on the scene in a flash. With herculean strength he lifts the beast from my leg and I scramble free. A good thing he was nearby because I wasn't getting out on my own. Eventually I would've reached my cellphone and called for help but it could've taken hours. The fireants would've consumed me.

Amazingly the bike had not a single scratch. Nowhere. I was pleased to see my good fortune in that regard. My knee was mildly angered but useable. We walked the rest of the track before heading out, this time at 2mph.

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post #7 of 37 Old 04-11-2007, 03:07 PM Thread Starter
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As we head out of JoMoCo at 2mph, we come to the stop sign signifying we are leaving the property. I look to the right where I see speed humps Kevin and I were just recently enjoying at a higher than suggested speed. The BMWs was rearing back and kicking up her rear wheel at each hump. My Tiger was following suit. I decided to lean back on one hump only to have the passenger seat come up with so much force i was thrown forward on the bike into the gas tank. Thank goodness I was hanging on.

As I finish this quick fond memory, Kevin is taking off... I click into first and follow. We head through some road that took us to another road, that ended into another road and then we were at a red light. I decided a burn out was appropriate. I tried to get Kevin to play, but he quickly reminds me his linked brakes do not allow for such juvenile action.

Light is green, we continue on...

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post #8 of 37 Old 04-11-2007, 03:08 PM
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Ouch! Glad to hear the ugly German beast is still running like a champ, but sorry to hear about the knee. That sucks man! Rest up and get better.

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post #9 of 37 Old 04-11-2007, 03:09 PM
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That is friggin' funny.

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post #10 of 37 Old 04-11-2007, 03:12 PM
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thanks Bock, few more days I'll be right as rain.

So Mike and I are headed to Barney's Motorcycle showroom extrordinaire. We walk, we look, I see nothing that stirs my heart. My god I've become old with my riding enthusiasms. Oh look another sportbike, oh look another sportbike, oh look another sportbike, oh look another sportbike - who cares? WAIT. WTF, that can't be right. That's not supposed to be here!!?

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post #11 of 37 Old 04-11-2007, 03:16 PM Thread Starter
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And there it sat. A bike I never thought I would see in person. Right there in front of us.

In five minutes, three salesmen tell us "That's a Japan only model" as if we were standing there with no idea what we were looking at.

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post #12 of 37 Old 04-11-2007, 03:26 PM
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my mind has a way of rearranging nearly every conceivable priority in the time it takes to cycle a single breath. Quickly I chose the reasons "to" and decided I'd turn deaf on the reasons "not". A struggle began to brew in my head.

Should this XR400SM be mine. Should I go with the CRF150F. Should I, should I????

no. I chose to wait until the Ducati sold and re-evalute.

We walked over the the Goldwing section. I climb aboard a black one. I love this thing, this would open the whole country to me. This is long distance at it's finest.

Mike, let's get the hell out of here.

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post #13 of 37 Old 04-11-2007, 03:32 PM Thread Starter
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Out to the parking lot we go...

I hop on my Trusty Steed and chuckle a little as Kevin limps to the GS and helps his leg over with his hand. I feel bad for him, but still amused none the less.

Off we go to the BMW/Agusta/Triumph dealer. I am doing itty bitty wheelies and generally being a little squid trying to get Kevin to act a little stupid. He looks at me and just looks forward. God, getting old must be a drag.

Then out of nowhere, coming out of a turn, I see the shaft drive beast hop up on one wheel. Kudos to Kevin!

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post #14 of 37 Old 04-11-2007, 03:39 PM
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MV Agusta makes some awfully sexy bikes.
I hate the guy with the 1098 who just pulled in, he should wash the bike and treat it better.
Ooh look, a Paul Smart.
If I had to trade the BMW right now, I'd probably take this multistrada.
Mike look, this LT is BMWs answer to the Goldwing, not quite.
MV Agusta makes some damn sexy bikes.

hey Mike, you leaking oil??

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post #15 of 37 Old 04-11-2007, 03:51 PM Thread Starter
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Crap! The Tiger spewed! Oil all over the clutch cover and on the frame.
Trace back the residue and it is the seal around the clutch actuater shaft.
Kevin "We're at the right place for warranty work"
Mike "You're right"
I roll my bike to the service area. They take a quick look and say they will be right back. In that quick moment, my bike was moved twice, we saw a totalled 999 and a 1098 on the rack getting Termi's.

Tech comes back up, "we don't have that seal in stock"

FFFFAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKK! I have to ride home with this leak!!!s

Well, nothing quite helps with frustration like lunch. Kevin and I leave the dealership and turn left. We see a Subway while we are sitting still in traffic. I decide the Tiger was made for this! Off the road we go and through a feild. I am at Subway.... Where is Kevin?

Well, i think he had enough off road for the day.

We walk inside, i order an Italian BMT. Kevin what do you want?

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post #16 of 37 Old 04-11-2007, 03:54 PM
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Quote:
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We walk inside, i order an Italian BMT. Kevin what do you want?
Humble Pie?

I plan to die young, as late as possible.
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post #17 of 37 Old 04-11-2007, 04:15 PM
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and theeeeennnnn?

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post #18 of 37 Old 04-11-2007, 04:26 PM Thread Starter
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Kevin stands there wide eyed as if he had never been in a Subway before. The sixteen year old must have thought Kevin was autistic as she asked politely again what he would like. He continued staring at the menu on the wall.

Finally Kevin utters out the sandwich he would like. The poor girl behind the counter takes a slow deep breath (appears to say a small prayer) and then asks Kevin what kind of bread he would like.... Oh boy... here is that deer in head lights look. I explain it has been a long day. Kevin decides on his bread. The girl throws his sandwich together as quickly as possible, not allowing for any minds to be changed and we are off to the register.

Mike: "Kevin, want Chips?"
Kevin: "Yeah"
Mike: "What kind"
Cashier: "Sigh"

We sit and eat, discussing oil leaks, crashes and super motards.

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post #19 of 37 Old 04-11-2007, 04:45 PM
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so it's a story about two retards and a motard.

sorry, had to beat Midwest to the punch!

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post #20 of 37 Old 04-12-2007, 04:00 AM
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Hey! I live here, and didn't know about the MV dealer. Where is it? What else am I missing? Bimota? Bennelli? Hope the knee gets right soon! Thanks for letting us in on a little of the trip.

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post #21 of 37 Old 04-12-2007, 04:54 AM
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I hate I missed out on all the adventures now.

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post #22 of 37 Old 04-12-2007, 05:55 AM
 
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Excellent story guys! That was really fun to read.

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post #23 of 37 Old 04-12-2007, 01:25 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RidgeRunner View Post
I hate I missed out on all the adventures now.
You slack-ass sissy...


Hey Mikey... was it as cold leaving as it was when we froze our butts off returning from shin-dig?

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post #24 of 37 Old 04-12-2007, 02:08 PM Thread Starter
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Hey Mikey... was it as cold leaving as it was when we froze our butts off returning from shin-dig?
Sadly, it was colder both down and back, however, I was dry this time on the way down and had use of both arms on the way back.

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post #25 of 37 Old 04-12-2007, 02:22 PM Thread Starter
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Gather round kids... Uncle Jetblast would like the story to be over, but Uncle Michael just doesn't know when to stop...

So we leave the SUBWAY, much to the delight of the girls working there. Fired up the bikes and head out to some Honda Shop... a new one judging by the looks. Abotu 25 miles north of Tampa on I-75. As we pull up, they have a grill out front and are serving Hotdogs, soft drinks and other little goodies. Kevin limps in, I follow.

By the front door is all the Honda Sprotbike offerings in all colors. Not bad, but they just don't appeal to me like they used to. I see Gold Wing accessories all over thae walls, but a quick scan of the dealership offers no Wings at all.

I stop and admire the VFR in the Red White and Blue paint. Nice to look at, but offers little more to me. Kevin and I continue to walk around the shop and find the dirtbikes. Woohoo! (just reading Kevin's mind). Three CR150Fs. Two of them are 06s. Price marked, $2300 (plus tax and dealer fees). A blond saleswoman stolls over and asks us if we have any questions...

Kevin: "what are the dealer fees?"
Saleswoman: "on that bike? 800 dollars"

I do not know how she said it with a straight face. 30% the value of the bike in dealer fees? Wow! Not gonna buy anything here.

We walk out front and make a couple of phone calls. The "hotdog chef"
walks up and starts small talk...

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post #26 of 37 Old 04-12-2007, 03:42 PM
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so it's a story about two retards and a motard.

sorry, had to beat Midwest to the punch!

Oh your GOOD!

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post #27 of 37 Old 04-12-2007, 04:28 PM
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Good story telling. Sounds like you should have bought some warm clothes for your trip south.
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post #28 of 37 Old 04-14-2007, 12:17 PM Thread Starter
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So I turn aroudn and the Hotdog chef starts asking questions about the Tiger and my Virginia Liscense plate. He found it crazy that someone would ride from VA to FL just to spend one day visiting with a friend. I kindly explained it is always more about the ride than the destination. He bought my reasoning and at that moment, Kevin hung up his phone and walked up on the conversation.

The Hot Dog chef then asked if I minded him saying a prayer to help ensure my safe journey home. I kindly agreed and then it got a little wierd...

He firmly put his hand on my shoulder and started with the prayer. I looked at Kevin a little puzzled and he shrugged as if it was his shoulder the guy was holding and he was trying to break free. I listened to the prayer, and appreciated his sincerity, however the moment was odd.

I wish the Hot Dog King and Queen a good day and Kevin and I head off to the next dealership...

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post #29 of 37 Old 04-14-2007, 12:24 PM Thread Starter
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As for the order in which this moment happened, I cannot remember, but Kevin and I was sitting side by side at a light and Kevin looks over at me and asks if I saw the bumper sticker on the white Ford Taurus. He laughs and says something about

"I love sof...."
"What?" I respond
"I love sof...."
I shrug not able to hear him over the traffic and through the ear plugs.
Kevin says "When the light turns green, wait for the Forsd to pass"
Kevin continues giggling and I am wondering what was on that car.

Light turns green. We sit there with out even putting the bikes in 1st. First car goes by.... second car goes by.... third car goes by.... I am really uncomfortable not going, but I wait.

Fourth car goes by... now the Ford, I pop my bike into 1st and the Ford passes. There is the bumper sticker...

Spoiler:
I soft balls

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post #30 of 37 Old 04-15-2007, 11:20 AM
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I LOVE SOFT BALLS!

Thats classic.... was the rainbow sticker there too?

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post #31 of 37 Old 04-15-2007, 11:22 AM Thread Starter
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I LOVE SOFT BALLS!

Thats classic.... was the rainbow sticker there too?
Yes, that was exactly how it was on the bumper sticker, but all the same font size.

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post #32 of 37 Old 04-15-2007, 11:34 AM Thread Starter
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So we contuinue on to our last dealership. At the dealership, I comment to Kevin about how my bike had started a small vibration 30 miles north of Tampa on my way down and it has gotten a little worse. We see a used KTM in their lot and I point it out to Kevin. He seems less than interested, so I assume the one he rode really turned him off.

We walk around, no Honda polish here either. Hmmm... it is a conspiracy.

This visit is pretty much uneventful as far as I can remember, so we head back to Kevin's to relax. At least that was the plan.

We get back to Kevin's and I leave my bike in the driveway when he pulls into the garage. I clean up the remnants of the oil leak while Kevin walks around my bike.

Kevin takes a close look at my front tire and says he found my vibration.

Appearantly 15000 miles is all an Anakee has in her. Even though she is still showing tread, my tire is blistered. Here is an unexpected expense on this trip. (not soooo much unexpected, but I was going to change it after I got home)

Look at the time, can we make it to a dealership that stocks 19" front tires?

Never fear, super-Jetblast is near. Way deep in Kevin's ass he reaches back and poops an Anakee front tire with about 200 track miles on it. He pulls out his home bead breaker and it is tire swap time. We do the tires swap and my bike is good again.

After admiring our tires swap, Kevin then starts to discuss how exactly his leg got the odd shaped bruise. We discuss theories and I come up with one I think is sound....

Kevin may take over from here....

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post #33 of 37 Old 04-15-2007, 12:19 PM
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the dude just happen to have a 19" front tire laying around? HA! that's an enthusiast.

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post #34 of 37 Old 04-16-2007, 10:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hondaf4iguy View Post
What a POS town that is. More people worried about you knowing they are Florida fans than driving. Not a safe town, will never visit again. I could dedicate a thread to the mid twenty, 1995 camaro driving receeding hair line rayban wearing, wannabe pimp that almost ran me off the road was trying to impress some 16 year old in the McDonald's parking lot, but I have better stories to tell. Short version, Gainsville is a poser town and sucks.
LMAO!!! Some of my buddies deployed with me are from Gainesville, and as awesome as they are... I have never met more annoying college sports fans in my life. I have never gone to that school or one that is a big rival and I am a GATOR HATER

When we get back from hell... One of my buddies is planning on coming up to Va so I can take him to the Williamsburg Parkway, and a few other places before we hit the Tail of the dragon, then he wants me to ride in Gainesville (because it's the greatest town in the world...). I dunno about that one now. And yes, I could not stop laughing at your story lol. Sorry it sucked for you.

2 > 4
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post #35 of 37 Old 04-16-2007, 11:22 AM
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so Mike comments that the unusually shaped puncture wounds line up with one of the injector sensors on the side of the head. I look at my leg, look at the sensor and think, yeah looks sort of like it. But I'm not sure, so I move my leg closer, and closer until it's just a hair away from it. then to be positive I pushed my leg up against the sensor.

I'm pretty sure the bike was hit by lightning because as soon as I made contact with the raw flesh I felt the hand of God spike in my brain. I think I even yelped.

Mike commented "I think that may be the stupidest thing I've ever seen you do."

I think he was right.

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post #36 of 37 Old 04-16-2007, 11:57 AM
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No pics from this advencha? I thought I read in this string that they would be posted....

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post #37 of 37 Old 04-16-2007, 01:40 PM Thread Starter
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So now it has been a week telling the story and I am getting fuzzy on the details. But since Kevin was kind enough to post about his deed, I feel this thread has met its climax. So I will try to wrap it up as quickly as possible in this post...

After Kevin recovers from the lightning strike, we decide to get ready for dinner. Mrs. Jetblast decided she was not feeling well and let the boys get dinner alone. Smart move? Hmmm...

Off to BW3s. We are not there ten minutes and the quest to get one of the female bartenders to pull the other one's hair is on. We were met by resistance at first, but I think we were making headway. We order beer and Caribbean Jerk wings. Then follow that up with Caribbean Jerk sandwiches.

The waiter brought us out food and said "two jerks,.......... chicken" He has no idea how right he was. We entertain ourselves at the bartenders expense for a while, then off to the house.

Getting back to Kevin's house, we chat for a bit, then I head off to bed. 5am is awefully early, I need my sleep.

5am, wakeup, shower, load bike, open garage door. Sleepy head Kevin comes out to wish me a safe trip, and i am off.
*****************

Trip home stats.
800+ miles.
12hrs
cold as hell
Tiger can only do 95mph comfortably with an unbalanced front tire.
Only one stop to take my helmet off to eat. All others, gas and go.
No traffic jams at all
Ran out of gas once.
Almost ran out of gas again.
no oil leak.

I might expand on the running out of gas later. That is a crappy feeling!

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Ride In Peace Marcus Randolph (Kahuna) 12/17/06
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