women and dating on bikes - Wrist Twisters
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post #1 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 01:03 AM Thread Starter
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women and dating on bikes

I've noticed a few things in my past 2 years of riding that honestly confused me a bit. One: when you talk to new ladies weather online or in person, they tell you the like outgoing or "adventurous " men.
Now if you have a bike and offer to take them on a ride they freak out. Usually saying "those things are so dangerous! " or not on a first date. Not on a fisrt date? Ok that's fine but don't tell me my next idea isn't original or exciting enough.

We all know that bikes are not any more dangerous than any other vehicle when used properly. If anything other drivers are your biggest danger. Now personally I'm not going to take a first time rider on busy streets and I'm going talk about where we are going and how to get there.

Two: "I wont do that until I know how he rides" ok I get the idea behind that statement however until you get on the bike you wont know how the rider is going to be. Ill admit I push my limits a little when I'm alone but that's part of the thrill. Its also something I NEVER do with a passenger. I make damn sure I ride well within my limits. Anyone who has ridden a while knows a passenger dramatically changes a bikes riding characteristics. Any decent rider will give him or herself a large cushion to make up for that.

Maybe I'm just ranting but what do you fellas think about these situations? I get that some people don't like bikes that's one thing. But if they don't feel one way or the other I don't understand it. My understanding from talking with friends is that most women expect to be picked up on a date. Great I'm more than willing to do so. But don't tell me you want to do something exciting then freak on me if I want to bring the bike on a warm day. If your afraid I might be a crazy driver why are you willing to hop in a car with me?

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post #2 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 05:45 AM
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I haven't had the same experience with bikes and girls. Quite the opposite actually. I have a lot of women ask me to take them out because bikes turn them on. I like those ones. The second group is the biggest group. Never been on a bike, want to but are nervous. I tell them that they have to trust me that i know what Im doing. When I get them on the back I take it easy for a few blocks to see how they react in corners and such. After that, it's usually all good. I've even come across a few that have told me that I'll never get them on the back of a bike. After talking to them for five minutes, they're convinced to come with me. What can I say? Bitches be crazy!
Personally I would never pick a girl up for a first date on a bike. Second date, maybe. Even a continuation of date. I always meet them somewhere rather than picking them up.

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post #3 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 07:02 AM Thread Starter
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Well that's the thing. In my area it seems to be a requirement that the man picks the girl up. Which I have no issue with, until the girl lives 45min to an hour away. With my truck that's a good $40 in fuel just to get there. On the bike? Its only about $5. On a first date I'm not going to spend a hundred dollars unless I've known the girl a while. For some reason it seems that ladies in my area don't own cars lol. They say they want an exciting adventurous date which to me means taking a bike ride. What kills me is the willingness to hope in some dudes car no questions asked but get on a bike? Hell no. Now this isn't alway the case. If I meet a girl while I'm on the bike its normally a different story. But any other time they get well odd is the easiest way to describe it. I just don't understand why its ok to hop in a car without knowing a guys driving habits but not a bike. Now I know guys that are nuts on a bike but cautious in a car, however the opposite is just as true.

Like you said bitches be crazy lol.

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post #4 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 09:15 AM
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It's all about the hair, guys. They just don't want to mess up their hair that they just spent a half hour on getting pretty for you.

You guys just don't understand the wimmins, do ya?

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post #5 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 09:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by g00gl3it
It's all about the hair, guys. They just don't want to mess up their hair that they just spent a half hour on getting pretty for you.

You guys just don't understand the wimmins, do ya?
And you do? Maybe as well as bobby. :P

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post #6 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 09:38 AM
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the definition of 'fun and exciting' differs from person to person.

if you carry around womens riding gear with you, it can set off the wrong signal. a women might see that as a sign that you 'get around' and your pick-up schtick is to give a girl a ride on a motorcycle as some sort of grand gesture - instant turn off.
a motorcycle -to some women- gives off a 'bad-boy' image. some women aren't into the bad-boy thing.
a motorcycle can be seen as a 'lifestyle' - some women might not enjoy that lifestyle [free spirit, bad-boy, rebel, etc...].
Trust. would you trust some dude showing up to your place for the first time saying 'hope on' and we'll take it from there?

I could give you thousands of reasons why women might not be into riding on a high-power two wheel machine with you on 'dates'. most of them are basic psychological reasoning.

but the long-story short; just pick her up with four wheels and impress her some other clever way. once she's comfortable with you, then tell her about the bike. she'll be more inclined to ride with you AFTER you show her what kind of person you are.

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post #7 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 09:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rickard919 View Post
And you do? Maybe as well as bobby. :P
I called a girl's hair 'poofy' once (young and stupid). I got an entire verbal (angry) lesson on the importance of a woman's hair and how you NEVER mess with it .

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post #8 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 09:44 AM
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Every time me and mine go to cycle gear she fools with helmets it and it never fails always with the hair. Just got her to ride passenger a year after her wreck. But first time the 5 minutes of convincing did it. If they say they want an adventurous date that means they think their boring and thus never do stuff like that.

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post #9 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 09:53 AM
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And you do? Maybe as well as bobby. :P
Womens that be men dressed like womens mayhaps........

I said I never had much use for one.
Never said I didn't know how to use it."
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post #10 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 10:21 AM Thread Starter
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I don't try to impress women at least not on purpose. Like you said fun and exciting differs person to person. However for me that's fun and again they think they are boring and want to do something they don't do often. Am I missing something? I have 2 helmets I carry one a med another is a large that covers (within reason) all helmet sizes. I also carry a heavy jacket at all times and rain gear. The lady is always Offered the use of my jacket. So even though I don't carry "womens " riding gear I do carry enough to cover the bases.

I still have yet to see the difference in a girl hoping in say a sports car compared to a motorcycle. In all honesty one is no safer than the other if misused.

Maybe it is the hair hell Ill admit I don't understand women. I never saw why women spend an hour doing things to their hair it was never intended to do lol.

Then again I am a gentleman to women its just how I am yet you say about the "badboy" image. Perhaps that is the case, yet later you see the same woman going out with a doper or an alcoholic or a guy that os covered head to toe in tattoos or piercings all of those give the same "badboy" image.

I simply don't understand an unreasonable fear. I never understood it with pit bulls and ill probably never get it with motorcycles.

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post #11 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 10:30 AM
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Good points. Maybe it's the fear of the unknown

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post #12 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 10:36 AM Thread Starter
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That's why you should educate yourself. At least that's how I've gone always fixed that problem. Its a common sense fix. You shouldn't shun something because you don't understand it. The same thing is happening with guns. Its stupidity in action

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post #13 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 10:38 AM
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sounds like you're the problem, not the women.
four wheels are ALWAYS safer than two. that's the common perception, even if you don't agree, all your gentlemanly ways won't change that thought.
there's always a way to escape from a car. she can be somewhat in control of her situation in the passenger seat (or the ILLUSION of control, which is absent from the bike).
on a bike, only one person is in control. you gotta be able to TRUST that person. this woman just met you.
you have to have a ridiculously good game to talk one into riding with you, especially on a 'first date'. even then, why bother talking someone into doing something they're not comfortable with? (sounds like an awesome first date!)

she doesn't want to ride, she doesn't want to ride. why take that chance? just take your car/truck whatever.

if you're a real gentleman you'd respect their choice and not take it to heart (or complain about not understanding them).

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post #14 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 10:50 AM Thread Starter
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Its not like I just show up on the bike bud. I do ask before making the decision. And if they aren't comfortable with the idea I will take 4wheels I just do not understand the fear. As you said in a car you may get the illusion of control however I've had more close calls in a car than on a bike. If you ride you should realize that you have more control in most cases. A bike is more maneuverable and stops quicker than any car ever will.

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post #15 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 10:57 AM Thread Starter
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Let me be honest here. This is me simply venting my spleen. I hate stupidty in the form of ignorance and I'm looking for explanations that is all. I figure a great way to do this is to ask opinions of others who may have come across similar situations. Like I said earlier should I meet a girl while on the bike I've never had this issue it tends to come mostly from simply talking about the act say online or through text that they spurn the motorcycle.

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post #16 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 11:04 AM
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if that what you would say to your first date? HAHAHA

there are a lot of things in this world we don't understand about other human animals.
get over it, and maybe you'll have some success in the dating world.
don't push stupid issues like some women not wanting to ride with you, it's not worth the time or worry.
not everyone is going to like and enjoy what trailblazer68 likes and enjoys, that's a part of life and it makes life more interesting. accept the differences and have a better time.
stop trying to 'understand' it cause it's causing you more grief than it should.
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I realize you're just asking for opinions and advice.. but most people don't like having the tables turned on them, and that's what I like to do. look at your bullshit first, before going out there and saying things like 'I don't understand woman', because that's a defeatist statement.
I enjoy taking people out of their comfort-zone. it's too easy to just support what you say. why not look at yourself and your issues first? address those before anything else.

plus - I've worked with a lot of women, so I know a few things from just sitting back and listening to them.

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post #17 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 11:24 AM
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Getting women interested is one thing, if it don't work out and there's just no chemistry then move on. It's when you can't get them to leave you alone, stage 5 klingon that'll give you real problems.

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post #18 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 12:03 PM
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Quote:
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I realize you're just asking for opinions and advice.. but most people don't like having the tables turned on them, and that's what I like to do. look at your bullshit first, before going out there and saying things like 'I don't understand woman', because that's a defeatist statement.
I enjoy taking people out of their comfort-zone. it's too easy to just support what you say. why not look at yourself and your issues first? address those before anything else.

plus - I've worked with a lot of women, so I know a few things from just sitting back and listening to them.
+1... Philth nailed it.

In order to understand anyone else, you must first understand yourself. Most people are not willing or brave enough to venture on that journey... Sounds like a lot of the people you're trying to date Trail... Just food for thought.

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post #19 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 12:03 PM Thread Starter
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Lol like I said I'm venting my spleen. I have issues we all do. But I do try to work around them if asked. I get a thrill leaving my comfort zone quite often. I have no real troubles with dating in general but if we cut through the fat what I'm getting to is the willingness to try something out of your comfort zone. Many women expect you to like everything they do or at least to put forth an effort. That's all I'm asking for a little effort. Both guys and ladies get pissed at each other for not "understanding " them or leaving them for this that and the other. The problem is people won't put for any effort in most cases. I don't expect someone to love motorcycles like I do but how can you say you don't like them if you've never been on one? I've broadened my horizons immensely by going out and trying something different

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post #20 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 12:15 PM Thread Starter
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I agree its just a pet peeve of mine I suppose, I don't like ignorance for the sake ignorance. Its like someone who's never eaten chicken saying they hate it lol. How would you know?

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post #21 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 12:45 PM
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I agree with your chicken statement, but often times the reason people are unwilling to try something 'new' is because it may trigger some sort of feelings that they don't understand or aren't comfortable with.
maybe they had a chicken attack them as kid and they can't get over it.

on a bike you have to understand what's going on at all times, even as a passenger. some people just aren't ready for that, and may never be ready for that (most won't admit it though). I've met a few people like that, and there's nothing wrong with that. they're not ready for the responsibility then so be, I wouldn't want someone who had to be coerced into riding with me sitting behind me anyway.

I've met people who won't drive cars because they were part of incidents where loved ones were taken from them at a young age and they break down when pressured.

Saying people are 'ignorant' or don't want to try new things because they're not educated about it isn't always correct. Most people have their own personal reasons (and are not willing to go into detail, seeing as how you just met) for not trying stuff (usually they do).

Most people are also scared of death/getting seriously hurt. motorcycles, like it or not, are associated with death/serious injury. you don't hear about they guy who rode for 70+ years and was never hurt (especially on the news) do you? what the majority of people (non-riders) hear/see about motorcycles is the bad stuff. and most riders (squids and whatnot) don't exactly do good riders any favours. some people just can't see past that, and that's ok. I'm not gonna pressure anyone into changing their mind about it.

think about it: this person who just met you is putting THEIR LIFE on the line by sitting on that bike. they don't really know you, or how you ride, or even what kind of dude you are. it's not a pleasant thought for anyone really.

I wouldn't hop on a bike with what is pretty much a complete stranger either. I don't think most sane people would.

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post #22 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 01:09 PM
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I'll add a few more things, then I'll quit busting your balls

(put the shoe on the other foot)
say a woman was big into high-power boat racing, but you were terrified of the thought of skipping across the water in a flimsy but extremely high powered boat, AND you were scared of possible injury/death AND you don't like water in general... but you didn't want to ruin a potential first date...
would you let her pick you up in said boat? would you ask for an alternative? would you get pissed at her if she tried to pressure you into it? would she be able to say the same things about you being ignorant and not educating yourself on the subject?

Wait until your comfortable with a women, and more importantly, that she's comfortable with you, before even mentioning the thought of riding together. when she's comfortable with you, and you've shared some good moments together, she'll be much more inclined to partake in something like riding together.

I'll leave it at that, unless you want more hahaha

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post #23 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 01:14 PM Thread Starter
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Its not the new person rhing I'm talking about. That in itself I can understand. Its the "ignorance "of motorcycles themselves. If a person were to say I don't want that because I don't trust you that's one thing. But to say you don't trust the bike is a different story. Yes many people give bikes a bad name and that's true of many things. But to use second hand experiences such as news storys as a reason is for lack of a better word ignorance. Its a stigma like with certain dog breeds. What I'm getting at is the fact that cars have a huge number of accidents as well yet this person who is stigmatized against bikes will hop in a car without a second thought. I know guys and girls who are complete opposites when riding a bike vs a car in both directions.


At some point you have to take that first ride. I'm not going to pressure anyone into it but it is something you have to be willing to do wether on a bike a car or with anything else that's new. Saying you won't do it "just because " isn't a good way to live in fact its a terrible way to go about life.

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post #24 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 01:19 PM Thread Starter
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In all honesty my friend I only ask something I give in return if I was terrified of that? Id ask for an alternative. That to me is fine. Its the times when you get a person that says "you ride one of those!? This will never work. But lets something equally uninteresting to you tonight ok?" Its the double standard this thread well its an example of an extreme. Its is not by far the norm just something I wanted to 1 vent about and 2 het some varying opinions on. I'm playing devils advocate to see how far it could be taken or if I would just get the same excuses for things of this nature

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post #25 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 01:27 PM Thread Starter
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I appreciate everyones opinions on this thread and I thank you for giving them its nice to hear others views

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post #26 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 02:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by philth
I'll add a few more things, then I'll quit busting your balls

(put the shoe on the other foot)
say a woman was big into high-power boat racing....
I know exactly what you are talking about, You motorboatin' son of a bitch you

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post #27 of 72 Old 02-11-2013, 07:31 PM
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I'd like to share a story I posted a couple years ago... It involves a good looking woman who wanted to spend some time with me, on the back of my bike...and how a weekend trip turned horribly horribly awry!

Taos weekend ride- We survived!

Well, fire the engines! Spur this iron space-pony on!

"The Shadow"
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post #28 of 72 Old 02-17-2013, 08:36 PM Thread Starter
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Sounds like a hell of a trip. Ill bet you never take a new rider on such a long trip again though lol. Glad everything turned out ok.

One thing I do believe in is taking small trips with new riders to get them accustomed to it. Once they prove they can "hang" then increase the distances. Makes the transition easier

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post #29 of 72 Old 02-18-2013, 09:16 AM
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Hair aside, would you want your daughter to go on a date with a guy she just met, on a bike? Any girl worth dating would consider the risk involved in being a passenger to a guy who could ride like a total moron. Great story.

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post #30 of 72 Old 02-18-2013, 09:28 AM Thread Starter
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Could but if the guy has a few years experience no I wouldn't have a problem with it as long as she had at the least a helmet and a heavy jacket

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post #31 of 72 Old 02-18-2013, 10:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 5axisrider
Hair aside, would you want your daughter to go on a date with a guy she just met, on a bike? Any girl worth dating would consider the risk involved in being a passenger to a guy who could ride like a total moron. Great story.
Absolutely would not happen. The only way I allow it is after riding with him a few times. I'd want to see what kind of rider skills he has. If he tries or is able to keep up with me, I wouldn't let her go on his bike.

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post #32 of 72 Old 02-18-2013, 10:30 AM Thread Starter
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Lol in this case thoughyou would be smart enough not to perform any stunts with a new rider on the back no? Then again if he could keep up with you he obviously has at least a skill level close to yours. Food for thought

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post #33 of 72 Old 02-18-2013, 10:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trailblazer68
Lol in this case thoughyou would be smart enough not to perform any stunts with a new rider on the back no? Then again if he could keep up with you he obviously has at least a skill level close to yours. Food for thought
Yes but also a little reckless. I he'd be willing to do it with the father of a girl he likes, how would he ride if I wasn't around? In the end, it would all come down to my daughters. They've ridden with me at high speeds many times. I'm sure they can tell the difference between reckless and in control. They are both very smart girls. I trust them to make the right choice.

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post #34 of 72 Old 02-18-2013, 11:04 AM Thread Starter
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But also that's you being protective which is understandable. But I do on occasion ride at my limit when alone. Its not something I do with a partner though. There will.be a first time eventually should she choose to ride. If the guy comes prepared with helmet, gloves, jacket I have to assume he knows what he's doing. Would I let her leave without protection? Hell no. But that's being cautious and not being stupid enough to believe something can't happen.

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post #35 of 72 Old 02-18-2013, 11:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trailblazer68
But also that's you being protective which is understandable. But I do on occasion ride at my limit when alone. Its not something I do with a partner though. There will.be a first time eventually should she choose to ride. If the guy comes prepared with helmet, gloves, jacket I have to assume he knows what he's doing. Would I let her leave without protection? Hell no. But that's being cautious and not being stupid enough to believe something can't happen.
Yes, very protective. Deep down I also know that I wouldn't be able to stop either of them if they want to go. I ride to my limit when I'm alone. Never with a passenger. If they both have all the gear, all I could do is hope for the best. I would prefer to ride with him first tho. I think they'd both agree to those terms.

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post #36 of 72 Old 02-18-2013, 11:23 AM Thread Starter
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And I can agree to that. Its something id prefer to do but how often does what we want ever happen lol?

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post #37 of 72 Old 02-18-2013, 01:46 PM
no max no more
 
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i cant see any girl going on a second date with you....your a know it all...that cant take yes ,,,no,,,or maybe for an answer

dont need a bike to ride the fast lane
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post #38 of 72 Old 02-18-2013, 02:20 PM
Cornicen
 
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ever sit on the back yourself for awhile? it's like take me in your big rig!
they never ask again, cause it gets old fast.
if you need company that bad get a dog, put some goggles, they love it.
personally if i get wiped out; fine.
but after a close call i chose to never involve a passenger again.
that's why no buddy pegs, seat or exta brain bucket.
and don't go there, i LOVE dogs, i'm goin out with one now.

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post #39 of 72 Old 02-18-2013, 02:28 PM Thread Starter
Milites Gregarius
 
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Call me a know it doesn't bother me. Understand that I am trying to play "devils advocate ". I'm trying to get past the bullshit and down to the nitty gritty. This was a thread I posted 1 put of boredom, 2 it gives a chance for a good debate, and 3 I figured I might get some answers for my curiosity.

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post #40 of 72 Old 02-18-2013, 02:32 PM Thread Starter
Milites Gregarius
 
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I'm not hard up for company the double standard simply annoys me and I was curious to see if id get any answers that would satisfy my curiosity in this subject. Honestly id rather go out with a lady that has her own bike, however there aren't many female riders in my area at least that are anywhere near my age. Plus you find me a side car for a maxim 650 and ill happily take the dog along.

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